2 Samuel 16-18

What are you defined by? Where do you find your worth? In what do you count your value? For so many of us, we define ourselves and our worth by our business (or family) success. If we are prospering at work, our morale is high and we feel great about ourselves. This explains why so many of us spend so many hours there. If we can only get this thing done, or work a little extra towards that promotion there, or complete one more sale after hours then we will be that much further along to financial and indeed personal success.

The problem lies in the question, "What happens to my self worth if I fail at my job?" In today's chapters we read of Ahithophel's very sad story. Ahithophel was David's, then Absalom's, counselor. His job was to give counsel to the king. He was presumably also a priest (2 Sam 15:12), hence his words were to be understood as God's word to the king. Indeed this very thing is said about Ahithophel in 2 Sam 16:23, "The advice of Ahithophel which he gave in those days, was as if one inquired of the word of God; so was all the advice of Ahithophel regarded by both David and Absalom."

But in chapter seventeen, Hushai contradicts Ahithophel's counsel to Absalom and Absalom chooses rather to follow Hushai's advice over Ahithophel's. This was actually all a part of God's plan to bring calamity on Absalom (2 Sam 17:14), but Ahithophel didn't realize it.

In the following verses the story follows David as he continues to flee from his son, but there is an abrasive interjection within the story line; one verse... the story of Ahithophel. 2 Sam 17:23 reads, "Now when Ahithophel saw that his counsel was not followed, he saddled his donkey and arose and went to his home, to his city, and set his house in order, and strangled himself; thus he died and was buried in the grave of his father."

I wrote out aside that verse in my Bible, "Whoa!" I just couldn't believe it. So abruptly included then never explained. The story immediately went back in the narrative of David's flight.

This man, Ahithophel, whose words were taken as the very counsel of God, one time is superseded and because of it he takes his own life. Why? It seems to me that Ahithophel found his worth in his received word. The moment his word was not taken, he no longer had worth. Never mind his illustrious past, he believed he was only as good as his last word. Once this failed, he saw not only his position rejected, but his person as well. He saw no reason to live on and so ended his shame himself.

Could you imagine if all the prophets of God would have done the same? Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel all would have much shorter books because they would have killed themselves early in their ministries. Many of the minor prophet may not have had time even to write their prophecies down as quickly as their messages were rejected. But what made these men different from Ahithophel? They understood their message was from God. Thus, it's worth was not dependent on man's acceptance, but founded upon God's personhood.

Ahithophel sought to please the king, he wrapped his worth up in the king's perception of him. Once the king rejected his words, his value was also rejected. Ahithophel reminds me a lot of people today. A great example from sports is A-Rod, who plays for the Yankees. A-Rod is defined by his last at bat in many of the eyes of the fans. The grand slam homerun in the fourth inning is nothing, if in the ninth inning he strikes out with the go-ahead run at third base.

A-Rod is a high profile guy and takes a lot of heat for his performance, but this same emotional roller coaster trickles down to all of us. As a minister, I must be careful not to put my worth in my last "performance." As recently as Easter morning, I caught myself doing it though. I preached two sermons, the first went well (I thought), the second I struggled. It was my last "performance" of the day, and I let it get to me. I allowed myself to define my worth in my delivery of a sermon. Not a good idea.

Here's the point. All of us are earthen vessels and fragile personas. It is human. This is all the more reason to look outside ourselves and our job/family performances to find our worth. This is the cool thing about being a Christian, we can look to God's word to find our value. Did you know that apart from your performance, you are beloved and a child of the King? That you are so loved the Lord of Lords gave His life to reconcile you to the Father? That there is now no condemnation for those of us in Christ? Our worth is explained to us by the Father through His word and actions. According to Him we are special indeed.

So what about our performances? We are called to do all things to His glory with all our might. But we are also called to leave the results to Him and to continually seek Him as we serve Him, trusting Him with everything... including our self-worth.

As a people-pleaser this is no easy task for me, I am just thankful to be in His word, allowing it to renew me each day, enabling me to see me as He sees me, and walking in that loving relationship seeking to give back to Him everything I am. May we all learn from Ahithophel and let his example not go forgotten.